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SB Nation NBA Disney Draft: The Nets get the ‘big’ they most desperately need

The Brooklyn Nets need help. Plenty of help. Healthy bodies. And plenty of them. And while SB Nation could have graced us with a “team sites beat writer” draft - let’s goooo, Pooch! - instead we were asked to draft Disney characters.

So, draft a Disney character I did.

Who did I pick?

Well, some background, first on the state of the Nets:

Yeah, the Nets need help. Lots of help. Especially when it comes to bigs.

Soooo, I went and drafted the Nets the biggest Disney character I could: Moana.

The biggest, you say? Yeah, the biggest.

According to Google, Moana measures at 7-feet, 6-inches tall. Say it again. 7-feet, 6-inches tall. And, with speed.

Let’s gooooooooo!!!! Matt Brooks, let’s get a film study going.

I literally have no idea what I’m doing when it comes to Disney-ing the Nets, but I think I did it. I think made the Nets better.

I mean, if we can’t have Pooch play, let’s opt for the best big in history of Disney.

Here’s how the draft shook out (teams were picked in random order) - I got a steal at 10.

  1. Brew Hoop - Robin Hood
  2. The Dream Shake - Jiminy Cricket
  3. The Bird Writes - Simba
  4. SLC Dunk - Maui
  5. Hot Hot Hoops - Beast
  6. Bullets Forever - Mickey Mouse
  7. Silver Screen and Roll - Aladdin Genie
  8. Sactown Royalty - Hercules
  9. Bright Side Of The Sun - Tarzan
  10. NetsDaily - Moana
  11. Welcome to Loud City James P. Sullivan
  12. Orlando Pinstriped Post - Peter Pan
  13. Pounding The Rock - EVE (a.k.a. Eva)
  14. Raptors HQ - Alice (Alice in Wonderland)
  15. Clips Nation - Elastigirl
  16. Denver Stiffs - Mr. Incredible
  17. Blazer’s Edge - Mufasa
  18. Grizzly Bear Blues - Elsa
  19. Liberty Ballers - Air Bud
  20. CelticsBlog - Yen Sid
  21. Mavs Moneyball - Kronk
  22. Indy Cornrows - Trusty

How’d I do?