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SB Nation NBA Disney Draft: The Nets get the ‘big’ they most desperately need

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The Brooklyn Nets need help. Plenty of help. Healthy bodies. And plenty of them. And while SB Nation could have graced us with a “team sites beat writer” draft - let’s goooo, Pooch! - instead we were asked to draft Disney characters.

So, draft a Disney character I did.

Who did I pick?

Well, some background, first on the state of the Nets:

Yeah, the Nets need help. Lots of help. Especially when it comes to bigs.

Soooo, I went and drafted the Nets the biggest Disney character I could: Moana.

The biggest, you say? Yeah, the biggest.

According to Google, Moana measures at 7-feet, 6-inches tall. Say it again. 7-feet, 6-inches tall. And, with speed.

Let’s gooooooooo!!!! Matt Brooks, let’s get a film study going.

I literally have no idea what I’m doing when it comes to Disney-ing the Nets, but I think I did it. I think made the Nets better.

I mean, if we can’t have Pooch play, let’s opt for the best big in history of Disney.

Here’s how the draft shook out (teams were picked in random order) - I got a steal at 10.

  1. Brew Hoop - Robin Hood
  2. The Dream Shake - Jiminy Cricket
  3. The Bird Writes - Simba
  4. SLC Dunk - Maui
  5. Hot Hot Hoops - Beast
  6. Bullets Forever - Mickey Mouse
  7. Silver Screen and Roll - Aladdin Genie
  8. Sactown Royalty - Hercules
  9. Bright Side Of The Sun - Tarzan
  10. NetsDaily - Moana
  11. Welcome to Loud City James P. Sullivan
  12. Orlando Pinstriped Post - Peter Pan
  13. Pounding The Rock - EVE (a.k.a. Eva)
  14. Raptors HQ - Alice (Alice in Wonderland)
  15. Clips Nation - Elastigirl
  16. Denver Stiffs - Mr. Incredible
  17. Blazer’s Edge - Mufasa
  18. Grizzly Bear Blues - Elsa
  19. Liberty Ballers - Air Bud
  20. CelticsBlog - Yen Sid
  21. Mavs Moneyball - Kronk
  22. Indy Cornrows - Trusty

How’d I do?