Abandon all hope, ye who enter here.
Goldberg thinks the picture of six new Nets introduced at a press conference July 20 should tell you something: that the Nets are done, done, done. As his headline states, "Don’t let them fool you, the Nets are going to be really, really bad." And of the picture, he writes...
"It’s the living embodiment of the This Is Fine Dog. Maybe you thought it was a troll move, but then you took a look at the RealGM roster and were all like oh f**k, this kinda sucks.
Harsh, you might say as a Nets fan. But Goldberg will not concede that. "So am I being a little harsh? Hey, man, all I did was point out the facts."
The facts, as laid out by Goldberg, are a breakdown of the six players pictured. Three new Nets were not available for the photograph: Greivis Vasquez, Randy Foye and Luis Scola, and a fourth, Isaiah Whitehead, had already been introduced. Good on them, because Goldberg skews each one of the six on hand. Some samples...
Joe Harris ...
He once scored 16 points in a game when LeBron James and Kyrie Irving weren’t playing. The Cavs were playing the losing-on-purpose Philadelphia 76ers. The Cavs lost. That was the highlight of Joe’s playing career until he was asked to be in this picture.
Caris LeVert ...
The Nets traded Thaddeus Young — a player you’ve heard of — for Caris LeVert — first name you haven’t heard of. It’s the classic trade-a-dollar-for-a-nickel-and-hope-that-one-day-you-wake-up-and-that-nickel-is-$1.05 move.
Jeremy Lin's hair (Is nothing sacred?) ...
Hey man, I’m just along for the ride. I’m just glad I don’t have to deal with the humidity of the Southeast. Brooklyn will be a nice change of pace for us.
(Covers Lin’s ears with well-gelled bangs)
Not a lot of people know this about Jeremy, but he’s big into street fashion."
And it goes on. Some of it is funny. Some of it is sad. Some of it is accurate and all of it is harsh. Then again, no one is predicting greatness for this squad, only "progress."
As Sean Marks said at the press conference when the players were introduced, "Kenny, I think, is going to bring the best out of these guys. All these guys have come here to win. That's the bottom line. They didn't come here to say, 'we're going to win 10 games, 15 games, 20 games.' They want to win. They want to compete every night."
All said, Matt Moore, Hardwood Paroxysm founder, had a very positive thing to say about your beloved Nets not long after Goldberg published.
Nets will be the most fun team they’ve had in a decade. https://t.co/6sSXLFRY5M— Hardwood Paroxysm (@HPbasketball) September 5, 2016
Still, it's not easy being a Nets fan. Sigh.