Kris Humphries is not only marrying Kim Kardashian (after the pre-nup...of course). He has become part of the Kardashians' $65 million reality TV empire.
Promo materials released in advance of next week's "Keeping Up with the Kardashians" premiere show Hump demanding an apology from Kim's brother Rob (often described as a weasel boy) after he used a five-letter Middle English word beginning with "w" to describe his sister; asking Kim's surprised stepdad Bruce Jenner for permission to marry her; popping THE question, and frolicking in the surf with his intended in Tahiti. We also hear Kim's mom Kris (yeah, she's got the same name) advising the star of the family that the vacation will test the young lovers' relationship. Will it?, we ask breathlessly.
Again, we keep wondering if Hump's free agent negotiations will be conducted in front of a camera with him perhaps on a private jet sipping champagne with Kim on his lap and Billy King sweating in his East Rutherford office...and how will Mikhail Prokhorov be cast? James Bond character? Most Interesting Man in the World? Russian political hack? We will surely tune in...or not. (Sigh, we remember a simpler time when all we had to do was check what the beat reporters had written, not scour the gossip sheets.)