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Bill Simmons on Mikhail Prokhorov

You knew it was least you had to hope it was coming.  Bill Simmons, the Sports Guy, sat down with all the Mikhail Prokhorov transcripts, profiles, videos he can lay his hands on....and then, and then, unleashed 5,000 words of sports poetry covering it all: the money, the babes, the Nets, the salary cap, Jay-Z, LeBron, the Dolans, even the disdain for computers and teeth-whiteners.

Just a sample, a mere morsel: Simmons on the oligarch's video message to Nets fans: "inadvertently made him sound like a terrorist requesting demands in a bad action movie." Okay, here's another to whet your appetite for the link below: Simmons on Prokhorov's breakfast this week with Mayor Bloomberg, Bruce Ratner and Jay-Z "what immediately became known then and forever as 'The Single Most Awkward Breakfast Of All Time.'

The Sports Guy loves The Most Interesting Man in the World, but doesn't think his charm will get him LeBron James.  But Phil Jackson? Bank on it.