Your Homework Assignments for Nets Players

At the close of every season, certain players are told what they need to work on in the off season to improve. I thought it would be a fun exercise to see what others thought. Here are my suggestions for some Brooklyn Nets players for the 2012-2013 season:

Marshon Brook(s)lyn: Get stronger and watch lots of tapes. Work on your handle and focus on setting a quicker tempo for the offense and making quicker decisions when you get the ball. No more holding the ball until the shot clock is expiring. Either pass the ball or attack.

Brook(lyn) Lopez: Stay healthy. Avoid motorcycles, banana peels. Stay in the comic book store and take calcium supplements. We need you back and healthy. If you're going to suffer an injury relapse, please do so before the start of free agency, as we may need to pursue a backup plan if your foot/ankle won't heal. Also, stay in the weight room with Marshon. We need you to throw people around in the paint next season . . . like a Boss.

Kris Humphries: Practice your mid-range jumper and lateral foot movement. Stay out of clubs, if possible. And never trust a big butt and a smile (Bell Biv Devoe)

Deron Williams: Sign the dang contract. Get a prescription for happy pills.

Gerald Green: Work on your handle and review lots of game footage. See how you can make better decisions with your passes. Also, please give us a hometown discount. We really really want you back.

Gerald Wallace: Same as Deron. Please come back. And stay healthy.

Anthony Morrow: So much to do, so little time. How about we start with you practicing running off screens and improving your crossover dribble drive. So much do say . . .

Jordan Farmar: Get healthy.

Jordan Williams: Stay away from fatty foods, work out with Hump (but don't follow him to the clubs).

Sheldon Williams: We love you just the way you are (Billy Joel). Come back for vets minimum and we're cool.

Sundi Gaines: Take a trip to the Amazon basin and hike the length of the Amazon River. Apply honey to your bare legs (it serves as repellent). If you encounter an indigenous tribe, adopt a fighting stance and shout out a New Zealander Haka in their direction (they will assume that you are friendly). Drink liberally from any water source. Pet and cuddle with any furry animals or reptiles you encounter. Wear good hiking boots, as you'll need it.

Johan Petro: Same advice as the ones for Gaines . . . except no hiking boots.

Avery Johnson: Submit your resignation.

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